Under the fur that covers me,
Walking a piss from pole to pole,
I sniff whatever good may be
From any random-passed asshole.
When I brush Chris’ cactus plants
I sometimes wince or cry aloud,
But for an online thug? Fat chance.
My leg is lifted, and bow-wowed.
Here in this place of dried pigs’ ears
I have attended and obeyed,
And those who menace with vague fears,
If you ask me, can go get spayed.
It matters not how vile their hate,
How lame-anonymous their troll,
I am the master of my plate:
I am the captain of my bowl.
I like this Zeke feller.
***hugs***
I’ve missed you so!
And as far as Zeke is concerned: GOOD DOG! GOOD DOG!!
I hope you’re able to stick around a good long while, Chris.
(Were your ears burning Sunday evening? Zuzu and Lesley and I were all talking about you…)
Welcome back, both of you.
Oh, sure, Zeke can parody William Henley’s “Invictus.” That’s an easy one. But we’re still waiting for him to do that T. S. Eliot followup he promised.
Welcome back! The Internets just got better again.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Many, many ear scratches for Zeke. (And you, too, Chris, if you’re good.)
I’m thrilled to see you back, and I’m even more thrilled Zeke wasn’t willing to bow out (or bow-wow) quietly. And he of the suspiciously accented name is correct: the intertubes is a better place with you in it.
Are you really, truly back? I’m so glad! I had only just begun to lurk here, and was in the process of reading through all of the archives (and forcing my sister to do the same) when I came across that terrible, horrible message.
So very glad you’ve returned to the internets!
(rubs Zeke’s ears)
There’s a good dog.
You go, Zeke.
(o)
(Scratches Zeke’s ears) Who’s a good boy?! Who’s a good boy?! Yes, that’s right, YOU’RE a good boy!
You, too, Chris. :)
Hip hip hooray!
Good poetry, Zeke!
Glad you’re back.
Oh, I’m so glad to see that you and Zeke are back. It makes my brain hurt to think that someone would threaten Zeke - I’m glad to see that neither you nor he is going to take it.
Your writing is always good, and sometimes so profoundly moving that it makes my heart ache.
Glad you guys are back “up”(!) There’s no keeping a good dog down.
Good to see you back!
Zeke, my pup has voluntarily given up the balance of the open box of Milk-Bones to you; please advise your preferred delivery method.
Glad you’re both back.
Glad you’re back - I was not resigned to your absence. Zeke lifting his leg is the perfect response to whatever nimrod thought threatening a dog (or a person!) passed for discourse.
Bestest dog, ever. Welcome back! (and Chris too, of course).
I am glad to hear that you are back and that Zeke is still reveling in his poochiness.
Yay Zeke!
Welcome back, guys…
Welcome back! I love you both. And it is amazing how much Zeke takes after his Dad with that there poetry-parodying talent. Must run in the family.
Nice to see the Creek still running. Scritch Zeke’s saggital skull ridge for me.
Brilliant. I’m just thrilled to see Zeke supporting mandatory spay-and-neuter programs for those who need them most.
I’m here from Michael Berube’s blog to welcome you back and wish you well, Zeke. (I wish my parents’ dog wrote as well as you do. He’s more into public speaking.)
Yay, CRN is back online!
My favorite poem, from the time I was a used and abused nine year old to this very day. I still go out in the woods behind the house and scream it out loud.
Thank you for coming back, Chris. I hope Zeke is well.
You tell ‘em, Zeke!
It’s *so* good to see CNR is back. Thanks Chris!
...Okay, apparently the system accepted the emote for ‘pets Zeke quietly’, and is acting on it rather than putting it in the comment, leaving nothing to be seen? What an intelligent blog!
—Dave
Go, Zeke! You know I can take a lot of anonymous crap directed at humans, but when they start picking on a dog, they’ve gone too far.
zeke! glad you and chris are back.
Good stuff.
I could so understand the desire to disappear. Very glad you regrouped and sallied forth again. Brilliant Dog Poem.
Good Zeke.
Oh what sweet words to see, so very glad you’re back.
GREAT poem! I’m so very glad you’re back.
Glad the both of you are back, Chris & Zeke. It was a little hard to practice love directed at the unfortunate person who threatened Zeke. I had to wonder if that person knew how many people would be out looking for him/her if anything befell Zeke.
In America, professor?
An angled-tire urinalist
Sets a grand piss in a sewer
Caver’s rivers of pain, my pissed.
I came back from a vacation and you were gone. Even though I could understand why, I was miserable.
Welcome back, you two.
Glad of your return, and with a fine rejoinder at that. As the other resident adult biped said when shown the “closed” sign the other night, “What is wrong with people?”
Hi from all the bipeds here to Zeke, and Becky, and Thistle.
Mack and Drizzle and Jasmine also send their regards.
Congratulations on your return to blogging. I hope things go better this time.
From my elderly dog to yours - welcome back.
She sends some pillows and Mother Hubbard Chicken and Cheese biscuits.
Yay! My week just got better. Welcome back Zeke and Chris. You were missed.
Who’s a good doggie? Have a nice tummy-rub!
(Chris, did you help Zeke with that poem, or just take him to meter-obedience classes when he was younger?)
Calloo callay!
YOU’RE BACK! YOU’RE BACK!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
Huzzah. And good cheer.
Welcome back.
This is good.
i’m so glad you’re back.
Good dog! Thanks for the swift return.
:)!! Good to see you back, Chris. And as to Zeke, if were possible to give a dog hug out over the internet, consider it done. I’m of the opinion that any person making any sort of threat against a family member deserves nothing less than jail time, but as we’re all basically anoymous here on the internet, fuckstains can say what they want. I’m glad you’re back and I wish you an your family, especially Zeke, glad tidings.
Jeebus, if only I could type.
Happy dance, happy dance!
Welcome back Zeke and Chris.
Good to see you’re back!
Would that we all had the wisdom of Zeke. Good to have you back.
Hear that? It’s the signal-to-noise ratio of the Internet going up perceptibly.
Just one more lurker, glad to see you back.
Chris, it’s great to see that you’re back. I was shocked and disappointed when I saw your note, and thought about how terrible I would feel if someone threatened my pets in any way. But mostly I felt sad because you’re one of the best writers that I’ve had the privilege of “meeting,” either on the internets or in real life.
Woof! Woof woof woof, woof WOOF. WOOF WOOF!!
Or, as we humans say, welcome back! Glad to see you back, even glad-er-er to see that the idiots didn’t win.
Listen up.
Chris Clarke, if you continue to write your incisive leftist commentary mercifully leavened by humor, whether on this here blog or in those purportedly more effective and credentialed paper thingys, I forget what they’re called, this is what I will do.
I will come over to your house and scratch Zeke’s tummy. I will scratch it and scratch it and scratch it until his hind leg begins beating the air with rapture. I will run my fingers through his fur and give him doggy shiatsu the likes of which no dog has ever experienced. I will skritch behind his ears and scrootch beneath his chin. I will take him on long walks in areas where he can safely be let off the leash and throw 639 sticks and 723 slimy tennis balls for him to fetch. I will buy him grass-fed Brazilian beef and feed it to him in carefully measured portions without bones so that he doesn’t get fat or choke. Squirrels and rabbits will be released at regular intervals to scamper coyly across his path. Toilet bowls with chill and limpid defluoridated water will surround him, lids ever up. The reverberant thrum of the Good Dog chant will echo in his ears.
How would you feel then?
Zeke for president!!
It’s not incivility and intra-left spats that will undermine The Cause. It’s bunnies and defluoridated water. Typical French perfidy.
Did he use the Microsoft “Invictus” Wizard?
Glad to see you both back and well.
I didn’t realize you had gone until I read this today! I am so glad you’re still around.
Ear scritches to Mr. Zeke, captain of his bowl.
Pixie the Wonderdog and Evil Wiley are glad to see that Zeke’s back online.
And Wiley is VERY envious of Zeke’s poetic ability.
GOOD, GOOOOOOOD DOG!! This lurker sends you lots of ear scratches and hearty big dog thumps. I hope this is all behind us now, we need CRN!
Go Zeke! Great poem! Welcome back to both of you!