You feel a little tired lately. Run down. Your rights are eroding. Reading the news makes you anxious. It seems like all your cherished civic institutions are falling apart. You used to feel like you had a grip on what was going on around you, but lately you find you just don’t understand what your fellow Americans are doing.
If this sounds like you, you may be suffering from what doctors call “Bellicosity Deficit Disorder,” or BDD.
BDD is a neurological condition caused by overexcitation of the brain’s prefrontal lobes. People exposed to too much education, critical analysis, or undisciplined thought run a serious risk of developing BDD. You may be one of them.
ProPatria can help.
In people with BDD, ProPatria relaxes the overstimulated “critical thought” centers of the brain. In clinical trials, seven out of ten BDD sufferers experienced a marked cessation of worry after taking their first dose of ProPatria. Most of the remainder found relief as treatment progressed, often in conjunction with electroconvulsive therapy. Taken as directed, ProPatria offers BDD sufferers a chance to rejoin the mainstream of American society.
ProPatria is not for everyone. Negative reactions to ProPatria have been recorded among severely injured war veterans, people with limited television exposure, and foreigners. Common side effects are dry mouth, drowsiness, sudden desire for SUV purchases, and projectile vomiting. On rare occasions, people taking ProPatria have experienced loss of impulse control, domestic discord, cranial explosions, chronic degeneration of the ethical centers of the brain, suicidal ideation, and joining the DLC. These symptoms are rare.
Ask your doctor about ProPatria. Don’t let that parade keep passing you by.
A product of GlaxxonMobilSmithKlineHalliburton.
Given all of the money that the pharmaceutical companies throw around Washington, I’m pretty certain my insurance will cover this. I’m gonna go buy my Hummer now, so that I’ll already have it when the meds kick in!
Expect my future comments to have many more typographical errors and logical fallacies.
Sounds like a genetically modified Prosecco, in very heavy doses. Symptoms are the same except for the SUV and the DLC.
=v= Yay! Just in time for Fleet Week!
This drug may be related to the one I need to motivate myself to go to work; Dragmyacin.
They seem to have left the “mori” off the end, not to mention the “dulce at decorum est” at the start. Wonder why?
Then sell poor children for food, Mr. Swift.
Mentally preparing for Fleet Week, I see.
because clearly you intended to disgrace the flag by portraying it backwards.
Clearly you miss the significance of the wind blowing from the right.
Clearly you miss the significance of the wind blowing from the right.
That would explain why the flag’s bursting into flame.
Rob G, the “mori” was deleted on the advice of legal counsel, the “dulce” was removed to make ProPatria suitable for diabetics, and there hasn’t been any decorum in Washington since Eleanor Roosevelt died.
Ba-doom, ba-doom, tish!
Good one, Mr. Burt.
The flag is blowing backwards because the person whose ass it is sticking out of is walking on his hands, forwards, fast.
yrs, BDL
Make that the American whose ass it is sticking out of.
Enema of the State?
I love how the light shining behind the flag is vaguely cross-like.
These side effects are rare.
Priceless.