An open letter to my fellow men

By on 2006 10 07 at 9:09:07 pm

You who resent all these recent changes
Who see arrogance in their freedom and fume,
You who mourn the lost and docile helpmeet
Be grateful they still talk to us at all.

You call “unfair” what is mere lost advantage.
You doubt their brilliance and you amplify their faults
You sneer and smirk and charge manipulation
Fall to your knees that they can love us still.

If child support is our system’s chief injustice,
False charges of rape our courts’ primary shame,
And billions of lives stunted, souls truncated
And battered a mere regretful status quo
Then women, our opponents, have been blindingly patient.
They merely tense when we walk past, at night
They do not shoot. They merely shout
When we tread on them, and then apologize
For placing themselves where we would step.
Give thanks! Regretful, sorrowful thanks
That they do not beguile us with false tenderness,
Lull us into sleep and then one night
On one night predetermined all rise up
To wield the knife, to open up our throats
To bleed and gurgle useless in our deathbeds: No.
Millennia of war and they forgive.

They still forgive, though were the tables turned
It’s doubtful we’d do likewise. Sigh relief,
But do not count on patience this long tested.

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17 comments on "An open letter to my fellow men"
  1. MissM's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    Thank YOU!  Long time lurker.  I was very moved by the poem, and hope that the principle resonates with non-feminists. Hugs to Zeke

  2. Rob G's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    The Patriarchy has always been opposed to feminism, but I think it’s too addled by the miasma of testosterone to be afraid of payback. It is a mindless beast with one purpose; control. What fear it has, is as it has always been - the fear of losing control. Any threat to that control is stamped on. Period.

    The patience of women is a mixed blessing; it can be read as weakness by those who seek control (to whom patience means waiting for the right time to strike), but it is one of our few sources of hope as well.

    Me? I just want to smack some sense into the assholes. Grunt grunt.

  3. Joanna's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    Thanks, Chris
    Sometimes I think I will suffocate from the rage. It is a struggle not to let it eat me up. When other people speak up about it, I can breathe more easily.

  4. Rob G's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    To clarify a bit - to be afraid of payback is to have some awareness of consequences, and that is one thing that the Patriarchy has never shown much of.

  5. John M. Burt's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    Thank you very much for that sharp blow to the chest.  The pain reminds me that I am still alive.

  6. Violet Socks's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    Beautiful poem.  Not bad for a misogynistic fuckwit.

  7. Rob G's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    It’s not an intraspecies war. A war has two sides contesting a mutually agreed prize. This is a continuous unilateral act of aggression, lasting thousands of years. I don’t think the aggression has been aimed solely against women, but they have, as a recognizable group, suffered the most.

    Thanks for the reminder, Chris.

  8. Ron Sullivan's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    I suspect that part of the problem is that we haven’t yet broken the bad habit of giving birth to you.

  9. Auguste's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    Honestly, I am not being SNOTTY, but what exactly are the “acts of aggression� perpetrated by females against males?

    Kathy, with respect, I’m pretty sure that Ron G is saying exactly the opposite of what you think he’s saying. In fact, I think he’s making your point - in order for it to be a “war” there’d have to be actual acts of aggression perpetrated by females against males.

    If I’ve read you or Ron wrong, my apologies.

  10. Auguste's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    And by Ron, I mean Rob.

    And by respect, I mean thousand island.

    No, go with respect. It parses better.

  11. Rob G's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    The n is close enough to the b that I forgive you, Auguste. I do it myself sometimes. And thousand island tastes better.

    Kathy, by “unilateral”, I meant “by the Patriarchy”. The last act of aggression committed by a female against this male was in a soccer game 20 years ago. She kicked me in the shin, and claimed it was an accident. Right.

  12. Rob G's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    Ahah! Spyder is exposed as the mouthpiece of the Great Bonobo World Domination Conspiracy. He would have us doomed to an existence of fucking and grooming, but probably no football. I’ll have to think about that one.

  13. Rob G's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    I saw a documentary recently about elephant rage, which mentioned exactly this problem - adolescent males going on rampages. They speculated that it was caused by orphans forming gangs, and lacking the mentoring of older elephants. When they were relocated to existing groups, they stopped acting up.

    Still, the larger problem is there. I wonder more and more how anyone can feel proud about being human. I’m about due for another look at Koyaanisqaatsi.

  14. Amy's Gravatar, get your own at gravatar.com

    This makes me sad, but then again I’m glad to read it. I’m glad that the world is populated by people with some compassion and understanding. And I haven’t heard anything about elephant rage, but damn does that disturb me!

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