Becky is home safely from Seattle, and she brought me a present.

1. 
   Chris Clarke 2007 08 05 at 12:33:07 am

   The Koala is not inexplicable at all. On the back of the box all is explicked thusly:

   THE NARWHAL
   NATURE’S UNICORN

   For centuries, the Narwhal was the great mystery of the sea. With the body of a whale and the horn of a Unicorn, many people believed that these fascinating creatures were harmless inhabitants of the icy waters of the Arctic Ocean. Recent studies, however, have exposed the secret agenda of these mysterious mammals and the true purpose of their extraordinarily long pointy tusks.

   The studies revealed that millions of years ago, penguins, snow seals and koalas ruled the earth. For sustenance, they feasted upon whales, dolphins, and other sea mammals to the point of near extinction. But the Narwhal went into hiding beneath the ice of the North Pole, biding their time, planning their revenge and sharpening their tusks. Finally they reemerged, tusks gleaming with newfound magical power, and fought back against the adorable creatures that threatened their existence. The battle was long, and many Narwhal were lost, but their strong will and sharp tusks were able to stave off the cute ones temporarily.

   Now, once a year, in a continuous effort to keep their enemies at bay, the Narwhal leave their homes to embark on a treacherous migration to Antarctica in the hunt for baby penguins and seal pups. Many will not return… Along their journey, they will spend time in Australia, swimming upstream to the inland habitat of the koalas, where they will actually leap out of the water to spear the deadly koalas from their perches high in the eucalyptus trees.

   It actually takes a little effort to impale a baby seal. But I knew that from working at Earth Island.

2. 
   Lauren 2007 08 05 at 11:33:51 am

   I think the BACON! pennant would be a good gift for Chef.  I really, really want the Unicorn Avenger set for the office.

3. 
   Chris Clarke 2007 08 05 at 12:25:09 pm

   They also have a Good vs. Evil Unicorn set, one unicorn being black with red mane, tail, and hooves with a skull tattoo on its butt, the other being white with pink hair and hooves and a rainbow tattoo on its butt.

   Problem is, they don’t explain which one’s which. Confusing.

4. 
   Amanda Marcotte 2007 08 05 at 1:57:33 pm

   Love it!  I have the Cold War Unicorns, which make me very, very happy.  Fucking commies.

5. 
   Theriomorph 2007 08 05 at 8:26:05 pm

   I can vouch for bacon wrapping paper always being a big hit. <strike>Especially for vegetarians.</strike>

6. 
   kathy a 2007 08 05 at 10:43:24 pm

   so many choices!  i’ve long and secretly coveted pink flamingo lawn ornaments, but they are overdone, and truthfully, pretty low on the scale of tacky gloriousness compared to air freshener available in either jesus or corn dog scents.

7. 
   Fred Levitan 2007 08 06 at 12:12:55 pm

   Set would be complete if a fully geared-up Inuit rifle hunter (see this month’s National Geo) were included in the impalee group.

8. 
   Rachel Shaw 2007 08 08 at 4:28:13 pm

   Want!

9. 
   idyllopus 2007 08 10 at 8:42:46 am

   I really resent it that I’m going to have to blow good money on this now.