The thing is, my attorneys had advised me that keeping mum, refraining from public statements, and generally observing QT protocol would allow things to just sort of blow over.

But for the last two weeks, those attorneys have not been returning my phone calls. And so it looks as though I’m going to trial.

I wouldn’t worry too much. The prosecution obviously doesn’t know their affiants from a hole in the ground. They’re flailing, and I expect the whole thing will be thrown out on appeal. Besides, the judge has it in for me. Remember Judge Webster Thayer, who asked, after sentencing Sacco and Vanzetti to death, ““Did you see what I did to those anarchist bastards the other day?” Well, this is exactly like that. Except that I didn’t get any payroll money. And Sacco and Vanzetti had a happy ending, right? I think. Anyway, I love their ice cream. The spumoni’s especially good.

Anyway, I’m only mentioning it here because it seems I’m about to be tried in the media as is increasingly common these days. The in-jokes they’re using to run this show trial could power the entire town of Elko, Nevada. It’s just wasteful. 

And just when I’d gotten my traffic back down to a reasonable, sustainable couple dozen daily visits.

1. 
   Roxanne 2006 12 13 at 1:23:36 am

   The hilarious thing about this fake show trial is how closely it mirrors the real show trial the cops put on for a Amanda a few months ago.

2. 
   Michael 2006 12 13 at 1:48:19 am

   We took our model from the very best, Roxanne.  And remember, it’s not too late to add more charges!  I heard that Playboy was thinking of naming this blog one of the Top Ten Hottest McNatureblogs on the Internets.

3. 
   Rob G 2006 12 13 at 10:52:23 am

   They’re flailing, and I expect the whole thing will be thrown out on appeal

   You still don’t quite grasp the meaning of Show Trial, do you? Just lie back, think of <strike>England</strike> Mount Diablo, and take it like a man. Oh wait, you were whining, weren’t you?

4. 
   blondie 2006 12 13 at 11:51:47 am

   Just remember to smile for your mug shot.  You mustn’t allow a public display of your humiliation and degradation.

   In keeping with that, maintain a positive facade at all times.  No matter how badly things are going, insist that you have a plan to win the trial, and the defeatists who whine about body counts are unpatriotic.

   You are innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.  If the V.P. can shoot a man in the face and receive an apology from his victim, we can surely get you off from this!

5. 
   Elayne Riggs 2006 12 13 at 2:30:28 pm

   I’m a regular reader of both this blog and Michael’s, and I totally don’t get this.  Is there a “show trial primer” one can read to get up to speed on this particular in-joke?

6. 
   Rob G 2006 12 13 at 3:03:36 pm

   the idiocy of the one whose name we do not text.

   Who’s that then? I’ll settle for “sounds like…”.

   I don’t have the energy to keep up with this, although it does take me back to my student days and fond memories of denouncing, shunning, etc. Good times, good times.

7. 
   Oaktown Girl 2006 12 13 at 6:22:19 pm

   Is there a “show trial primer� one can read to get up to speed

   Elyane -
   Yours is not to reason why. Yours is to level accusations and be renewed and purified by doing so.
   It really is all in Chris’ best interest, you know.

   Yours,
   Oaktown Girl
   Minister of Justice
   WAAGNFNP

8. 
   moioci 2006 12 14 at 3:25:08 am

   Rob G,
   Re: the idiocy of the one whose name we do not text

   Using the Venerable and Ancient Code of the Elders of Poughkeepsie, Avidday Orowitzhay, unless I’m sorely mistaken, in which case, it’s Omebodysay Elseay.

9. 
   Rob G 2006 12 14 at 6:43:53 am

   Oh, D-Ho! Even I shoulda known that.