It hurts to look at you, your body bent
and wracked, and in the endless long months since
I saw you last, I have observed myself
amending memories, editing them
to make you whole again, and strong, a race
leaping across slick hardwood to our leash
and down the steps, or leaping straight aloft
in greeting after long days spent unwalked.
Truth is hard. A year ago tonight
you set aside your own end’s agony
to salve my own, and staggering in cold
familiar streets, you walked with me. The last
three blocks in three thousand miles walked. The end,
and all this afterwards beside the point.

1. 
   blondie 2008 02 01 at 3:50:24 pm

   Oh Zeke, beloved friend, faithful companion. 

   I hope this doesn’t seem too trite, but I once heard someone explain why they thought our sweet dogs’ lives are so much shorter than our own—because they love us so passionately and deeply, they devote more love to us in 10 years than we could devote to another in 100; even their unlimited hearts cannot last too long in the flame of such burning love.

   And I also hope it doesn’t seem too silly or commercial to mention, but Puppy Bowl is on Sunday, and I could watch for hours.  Watching puppies play provides me with happiness and peace.

2. 
   Rob G 2008 02 01 at 4:19:00 pm

   Chris, I experienced a profound loss recently, and for the (insert large number here)th time, wish I had your gift for expressing it. Thanks for the resonance of your words.

3. 
   embee 2008 02 01 at 6:01:08 pm

   {{crying}}

4. 
   Sylvia/M 2008 02 02 at 7:19:55 am

   i read this and i thought, “please let on that you knew me when and you knew all then.”  and you did, and you do; that’s the best and most honest tribute to a being in this life. 

   thank you for sharing something so personal for a companion so special.  in both cases.

5. 
   Joan Kelly 2008 02 02 at 11:40:38 am

   I am glad that this fellow got you, out of all the people he could have gotten, or none at all, in his life.  Glad for any/all others who get you, too.  And could you please consider a NSFPWCE notice before posts like this, and the polar bear one?

   *NSFPWCE = not safe for people who cry easily

   *I’m only half-joking.

6. 
   sadie 2008 02 06 at 4:39:11 pm

   ah.

   I’ve been reading you for about a year, now.  A friend on livejournal directed me here, at what was probably the hardest moment.

   I don’t know what else to say.  Grief stays raw, sometimes.  it’s a lot to carry.