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March 10, 2005

The G**gle gauntlet thrown

Tom Montag thinks he's topped my Google search strings:

Someone just arrived at The Middlewesterner by searching msn for "shelf life of prune juice." Top that, if you can.

Sorry, Tom. Too easy.

Posted by Chris Clarke at March 10, 2005 07:26 AM TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.faultline.org/cgi-bin/mt-tb.cgi/975

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Comments

One of the things that webalizer gives me is a list of all the search strings used to find my site. Here's some of the better ones for February:

the marching morons
vietnamese bun recipe
kathy's affair
glorioski
fucking spammers
painful fucking
can i use the memery from my old pc in to my new xp
fucking computers
make me money
american beautiful babies pictures
cheesesteak and hoagie factory
fucking in hospital
assholes
bellies viewed times
damn fuck!
faa hockey leagues
gray rain curtain silver glass
hat at the table
how can i get a job in antartica
i want to work outside in the beautiful wilderness of ketchikan
i work with idiots
pictures of the biggest toronto in the world
plane behind paul tomblin take off noise waiting
synonym of dumb ass
the first anniversary of the super bowl wardrobe malfunction th
windows fat fuck
you're a jerk!

Posted by: Paul Tomblin at March 10, 2005 08:28 AM
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Chris--I concede. I concede to Paul Tomblin, too. I get some weird search strings, but never a run quite like that. I get "retirement poems" and "first year anniversary poem" and "women with big breasts...." but never anyone looking for a job in Antarctica.

Posted by: Tom Montag at March 10, 2005 09:23 AM
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The following search string deposited a reader at my doorstep:
"disorganized bewildered fearful distracted forgetful unprepared self doubt"

I should get some kind of prize, no?

Posted by: elck at March 10, 2005 10:28 AM
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"hinderaker faegre blog iq fuck"

"katie holmes breakup"

those are just from today. I get better ones, but never save them.

For the record, Hinderaker really is a total faegre blog iq fuck.

Posted by: Alex at March 10, 2005 10:53 AM
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Elck, you win the "search string that makes me wince hardest" prize, taking #1 away from last week's "broken toe how to tell".

Alex: I said come on, faegre blog iq fuck
I said c'mon, faegre blog iq fuck;
everybody to the limit
everybody to the limit
everybody come on faegre blog iq fuck.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at March 10, 2005 11:03 AM
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Some of my favorites:

what can be learned from the bone
Gandhi's sacrifices
gay naked dads and sons at the beach pics
butte pirates
gunter glieben glauchen globen
Rapping governor Schwarzenegger
porn star in warrant cherry pie video
alexandra kerry see through dress
poems about gi joe
objectivism John Cage
wrestling in pantyhose
mary tyler moore porn
anti abortion poems
anagram fun
seppuku with a frisbee
Dennis Miller schlong
"bullshit" college university sucks bitch conspiracy
gay bone cocks
"wounded in the stones" penis OR testicles
arnold recall petition doing very good
bush composed of anuses

People need to learn to use quotes to limit their searches, and to stop being creepy.

Posted by: the_bone at March 10, 2005 02:37 PM
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true story: there's a "classic rock" radio station in the Bay Area called "The Bone." Sometimes in the truck, when Air America is being annoying I listen to that instead. I hit the "FM" button last weekend and heard - verbatim - :

"On The Bone. Gunter Glieben Glauchen Globen!"

Posted by: Chris Clarke at March 10, 2005 02:47 PM
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That is outstanding. I love you, man.

My site is one of the top Google destinations for that phrase, usually for people who want to figure out what those pseudo-Germanic words mean. I imagine those folks are pretty irritated when they find that I translate it as "Our one-armed drummer beats his wife."

Posted by: the_bone at March 10, 2005 03:04 PM
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This just in: "inflatable ann coulter". That scares me more than "mary tyler moore porn".

I also got two hits looking for "osh gosh air show" from somebody evidently not too familiar with the Oshkosh fly-in.

Posted by: Paul Tomblin at March 10, 2005 03:47 PM
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inflatable ann coulter

I'd think if you wanted a prosthetic Coulter, a megaphone on a pile of wire coathangers would be the way to go.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at March 10, 2005 04:07 PM
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"wounded in the stones" penis OR testicles

It's uncomfortably specific, but I admire his knowledge of Boolean searching.

"butte pirates"

That one seems rather poetic to me, somehow.

Posted by: Alex at March 10, 2005 06:40 PM
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You guys are making all this shit up, right? Because if you're not, we're a lot closer to the end of the world than I care to believe.

Posted by: tost at March 10, 2005 10:35 PM
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I like to play with the little googlers who are searching for "Bonnie Franklin nude" at my place. I still haven't figured out if THE Bonnie Franklin posed nude, or if there's a porn star named Bonnie Franklin. Maybe I'll google that.

I'm also trying to start the "David Horowitz nude" google meme. So far no takers.

Posted by: KathyF at March 11, 2005 01:50 AM
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David Horowitz Nude!

Posted by: Chris Clarke at March 11, 2005 08:29 AM
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Oh my god, that's scary! Especially if you mistake the pipe running from the sink for a tail.

Posted by: KathyF at March 11, 2005 11:09 AM
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Speaking of Boolean searches, I just got:
mud pictures boy OR man OR men OR children OR child OR woman OR women OR people OR person OR girl

Posted by: leslee at March 11, 2005 03:08 PM
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These just in:

every morning why does my bone aches?
epididymitis blogspot

Posted by: the_bone at March 12, 2005 07:11 PM
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