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June 24, 2005

The answers, my friends

You asked the questions, I have the answers.

Fox's Vixen asked: "So, genius that you are, are you content with the direction your life has taken?"

Not if people are going to call me a genius in public.
I have to say I have it pretty good. A fulfilling job, a wife who adores me, legions of fans of my blog who lay in wait until I give the coded passphrase and who will then rise up and smite my enemies in a rain of... um, yeah.

tost: "If it was in your power to understand the world as it actually exists, but such understanding required that you give up your comfortable assumptions on the nature of things and move in a new and perhaps painful direction, would you choose to hold onto the life you know, or would you opt for knowledge you might later regret?"


But why do I get the feeling that the Jehovah's Witnesses are on their way?

Lauren: "You're on death row and about to be executed for a completely unforgivable crime (voting Republican, jay walking, whatever). What do you request for your last meal?"

Well, assuming that trick answers like "the meat of a mammal species that has not yet evolved" or "a hamburger and a nice 2057-vintage Cabernet" are ruled out, I'm thinking the French Laundry.

Hungry Hyaena: "What song do you most often find entering your mind? It doesn't necessarily have to be of the annoying variety, just the one that you most often find yourself 'tuning into.'"

I'm a little surprised that anyone who''s read my blog more than once would need to ask that. Obviously, it's this one.

Kathy: "Why do fools fall in love?"

The blood concentration of oxytocin, a neuropeptide which is secreted in a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, has been shown to increase in response to strong positive emotion and/or physical pleasure. The oxytocin's physical structure matches certain sites in the brains of both men and women; these "oxytocin receptors," when stimulated by the presence of the neuropeptide, mediate a number of emotional responses related to pair-bonding and parenting.

Also, the rain falls from up above because moisture condenses around a dust particle until the weight of the drop is too high for the drop to continue to be suspended on air currents, and the birds sing so gay because it's Pride Week.

KathyF: "What burning question do you wish you could answer?"


Allison: "Can I have a pony?"


limesalttequila: "Why don't you post a pic of yourself? (or have I wasted a completely good opportunity with a question for which you've already addressed?-That's 2 questions, I now realize. Disregard the 2nd.) Oh, now I have another one...but I know I've reached my max, so disregard the other 2 questions and answer this one: You post a lot about your family (mom specifically), yet I notice they frequent your blog. Does this ever present a problem at family functions and in your relationship with them? (it's still only one question with 2 parts...)"

I can answer all those in one word: decaf.
OK, because I like you: I haven't had any difficulty with the family stuff, for a few reasons. First, becauuse I try to be fair and accurate in what I write. Second, because I don't see my family members all that much. Third, because even if they were upset with me, I probably wouldn't notice.

Oh, and as for that photo: Here you go.

Hank Fox: "Well, since the pony question is taken ... There are some parallels in your life story and mine. I want to meet you at some point in the next year and compare notes on life. How can that be managed?"

Party at Carl's House! Woohoo!
Let's pursue a serious answer to that in other channels, Hank. And: me too.

dale: "Oh. I only get one? Well then, you can pick between a) What do you think of the institution of marriage?"

Well, I do understand the freight with which marriage is laden in this patriarchal society, the connotations of ownership of women and wedding rings like livestock ear tags, the arguments in favor of polyamory and so forth. But I'm married to Becky, not marriage.

"b) where the hell did you learn to write so beautifully?"

From reading your blog.

murky: "My question: Was it intentional on your part that my recent attempted post to "Hating women" failed to post?"


the_bone: "Where are the snows of yesteryear?"

I told you, they were gone when I got here.

susurra: "Tell me the most unusual place you've ever made love."

Oh, what the hell. OK.
It was in Aaron Wildavsky's hot tub. Wildavsky wasn't there – I was dog-sitting for his wife, who was a gardening pal of mine. The person I was with was a long-term platonic friend with whom I suddenly got closer. That was on Gay Pride Weekend, 1989.

Happy anniversary, Becky.

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Damn, Chris, I must be a pyschic. I checked out your photo and you were almost exactly as I'd always pictured you; only taller and more sophisticated.

As to the "Yes. But why do I get the feeling that the Jehovah's Witnesses are on their way?" - pick the response you prefer.

a) Because you're a smart guy.
b) Because they're like vampires - they need to be invited in. Which you, um..... just did, by saying yes.
c) Because in your heart of hearts, you want to know if there are things science just can't explain.
d) All of the above.

And being pyschic, I can read your mind right now. You're thinking, "No. Seriously. I meant no. Give me the red pill, you bastard."

Posted by: tost at June 24, 2005 10:17 PM
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I totally heart Schneider.

Posted by: KathyF at June 25, 2005 02:59 PM
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But do we get anyone dropping in on our blogs on searches for "Pat Harrington Nude"? NO.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at June 25, 2005 03:08 PM
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Too funny-and, I am totally decaf-they took my coffee pot away (like the stapler guy in Office Space: ).

I actually followed your link to your Mom's blog too one day-interesting lady. =) Interesting life too. We also have some parallels between our lives. Probably why I resonate with your work so much =)

p.s. The Tequila song is so MY theme song, BTW! AND that is the Schneider guy from One Day at a Time! Geesh-I'm high strung, not psychotic!

Posted by: limesalttequila at June 27, 2005 12:58 PM
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Guess I didn't make the cut-my comments are being detained for questioning...

Posted by: limesalttequila at June 27, 2005 12:59 PM
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Not if people are going to call me a genius in public.

Did that hurt so much?

Posted by: Fox's Vixen at June 27, 2005 03:25 PM
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Just the opposite, Nikki. I could get way too used to it.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at June 27, 2005 03:36 PM
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