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July 13, 2005

Dog Decision 2005

OK, so for those of you who didn't drill all the way down through all the comments in the Distractions post, frequent Creek wader Tost and I got into the Obnoxious Little League Dad thing about which of our dogs is better. And it just figures Tost would up the ante from mere testosterone flinging:

In fact, I'm willing to make a little wager. I'll go take a photo of Cody, who's almost 9, and then I'll e-mail it to you. You post it on your site, along with the best photo you've ever taken of your admittedly-handsome dog. Then people can vote on who looks the most intelligent, the most regal, the most charismatic. But there's a catch. Every vote costs $5, and all proceeds go to a local animal shelter, which the winner designates.

Aside from insisting on a sliding scale of $1.00-$5.00, I picked up his thrown gauntlet. (Though I know of few animal shelters that would refuse a larger offer, should you be so inclined, and I'm gonna pay twenty bucks for my vote.)

You can see the photos here. Tost sent three and they were all good, so there are three up of Zeke as well.

Cast your vote (and your dollar amount of pledge) in comments to this post. Sorry, no quatloos. This'll work on the honor system; no collection agent will call. At the close of voting on oh, let's make it Wednesday, July 27, votes will be tabulated by the Diebold company and I'll announce the winner. I imagine Tost will trust me to collect the cash either way, so send your vote payment to me c/o Earth Island Institute, 300 Broadway, Suite 28 San Francisco CA 94133, and I'll make sure it gets to the right place. Or you can just send your donation directly to the appropriate shelter.

When Zeke wins Should Zeke win, your money will go to:

Berkeley-East Bay Humane Society
2700 Ninth Street
Berkeley, CA 94710

which is where he lived before he came to live with us.

Should Cody win, the money goes to:

Kootenai Pets For Life
P.O. Box 1454
Libby, Montana 59923

Regardless of the outcome of the vote, each of our contestants will be told he's won, and awarded a snack and an all-expenses paid walk. Vote early and often. And do consider linking to this election to send some traffic our way: there's no electoral college, and your readers' votes will actually help save lives!

Posted by Chris Clarke at July 13, 2005 12:33 PM TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.faultline.org/cgi-bin/mt-tb.cgi/1179

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Comments

And I'll kick things off by casting the first vote for, let's see... they're both really cute. Tough choice. I'm gonna go with Zeke, though, because he's the only candidate that can defeat Cody. $20.00.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 13, 2005 01:04 PM
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Awww! They're gorgeous. Cody is a real stud. But Zeke has heart...who to chose?

Bailey votes for Cody, and I vote for Zeke. Or was that the other way around?

She killed her first bird yesterday, btw. Sad day for me.

Posted by: KathyF at July 13, 2005 01:25 PM
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It's pretty close, but I'd have to go with Zeke because there's a picture of him on snow, and because he has a German Shepherd-like snout. I guess I pledge $5.

BTW: What is with that highlighted box around Zeke's head in the picture with Becky?

Posted by: Paul Tomblin at July 13, 2005 01:47 PM
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Oh, forgot to mention: Both dogs look like mere cats compared to my Heidi.

Further proof: here.

Posted by: Paul Tomblin at July 13, 2005 01:52 PM
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Paul, that highlighted box is an area you can mouseover for a special message.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 13, 2005 01:56 PM
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I call Shennanigans! Zeke is using KITTENS (not to mention a hot babe), which are the illegal glo-stix of all such competitions.

Posted by: CMD at July 13, 2005 03:31 PM
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Ahem, I forgot to add that my household, being located in the place that not only invented, but perfected voting fraud, casts an emphatic $5 vote for Zeke.

Posted by: CMD at July 13, 2005 03:35 PM
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My vote has to go to the regal Zeke, although Mr Travel Mug was also tempting (is there...coffee...in it? No, don't tell me; even if there wasn't, I'm going to fantasize about it.)

My donation will be going to the Stevens Community Humane Society, of which I am a board member.

Posted by: PZ Myers at July 13, 2005 03:41 PM
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I'm not much of a dog person, but I gotta go with Zeke. Cody's hair droops funny. Sorry, but that's my opinion.

Posted by: alice at July 13, 2005 05:04 PM
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I vote five times for Zeke, because there was a time when he missed me when I was not around. That's worth at least eighty times my pledged $25, but I can't swing quite that much.

And how could you not use the picture with the hot pepper lights?!

Posted by: Allison at July 13, 2005 05:45 PM
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And yes, I believe I am allowed to vote five times. This is the Bush era, after all.

Posted by: Allison at July 13, 2005 05:47 PM
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You're lucky I let family vote at all, Allie. You get one vote, same as Harley.

Tost, you better get your friends and family here and voting, or I'm gonna have to switch my vote to Cody. Zeke's enjoying sme serious homefield advantage here.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 13, 2005 06:06 PM
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Hmmmmm, multiple votes, eh? Well my first vote, for $5, goes to Zeke, because he's obviously a good dog, and because he deserves to think he's got a shot at winning.

My second $5 vote goes to Cody, for the time he chased that mountain lion away from Molly when they were out hiking on the Vinal Lake Road.

Posted by: tost at July 13, 2005 06:22 PM
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This is unfair. I am used to voting when one candidate is a reprehensible scoundrel, and the other is the Democrat.
These are two beautiful honorable looking creatures. They both look like they have deep souls and have benefitted from spending time with their loving companions.
I am afraid that I will have to do something utterly illegal, but something I have always wanted to do. I am voting twice. Once for Cody and once for Zeke.
You'll have to cart me off to jail now.

Posted by: Rexroths Daughter at July 13, 2005 07:50 PM
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Nice try guys, but Tito wins hands down!

Posted by: OGeorge at July 13, 2005 08:26 PM
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On the one hand, Cody strikes quite the heroic pose: he seems to be staring keenly off in the distance, looking for something to rescue/fetch/roll around in. And his fur looks perfect for burying one's face in, when one is in deep need of an all-body doggie hug.

On the other hand, Zeke is clearly going for the "Mr. Personality" vote, complete with Lovely Young Assistant, and Adorable Kittens. Sharing the scene with these scene-stealers argues for a very sturdy sense of self-worth and confidence.

So I, too, will take the easy way out, and vote for both. That's $5 to Code and $5 to Zeke.

Posted by: CaseyL at July 13, 2005 09:16 PM
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PS: Do we get to hear the story behind the Maternal Zeke photo?

Posted by: CaseyL at July 13, 2005 09:19 PM
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OK, Chris, time for the guy in charge to make an executive decision. If you're going to stick to one vote per commenter, then I'll put $20 on Cody to match your $20 on Zeke. But if you're going to allow multiple votes - I just noticed that you tried to limit things to one vote a little earlier, but it didn't seem to make any difference - then I'll stick with my original $5 on Zeke and $5 on Cody, while reserving the right to up the ante down the road.

Anyway, I'll agree to whatever decision you make. But if we're going to get the money to the winning animal shelter, we probably need to figure out the rules before we start counting votes.

Oh, and if you're going to run gorgeous photos of Zeke with kittens and attractive women and such, then I'd like to throw myself on the mercy of the court and ask if I can substitute a photo or two and even things out. But I'll totally understand if you think Zeke needs the extra advantage. Your call.

Posted by: tost at July 13, 2005 09:33 PM
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Hey, send in the photo of him rescuing that puma from Molly!

Like I said. Zeke's got the homefield advantage. I'm happy to give Cody a couple legs up to compensate.

And I'm ruling that all multiple votes are invalid, and that only one vote from each voter will be counted, and the candidate selected in alphabetical order. So everyone that tried to vote for both dogs will be counted as a vote for Cody.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 13, 2005 09:45 PM
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"Hey, send in the photo of him rescuing that puma from Molly! "

No such luck. National Geographic has the publishing rights, and I can't put it on the internet until after they've run in it in the magazine. But I do have a photo of Cody throwing out the first pitch at Fenway in last year's World Series. Does that work?

By the way, no deal on, "A vote for both is a vote for Cody." Zeke's going to need all the help he can get before we're done. Remember Foreman/ Ali? How about we tell everyone, "A vote for both is a vote for neither - but still send in your donation."

Posted by: tost at July 13, 2005 10:17 PM
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Naah, we'll count the votes for both as votes for both. Might as well give people some actual votes for their generous contributions.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 13, 2005 11:01 PM
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Cody is a fine looking dog. But I've always prefered the ones with upright ears -- must be my ravenish side, thinking of good ol' Coyote.

I'm broke, but here's $1 for Zeke.

Posted by: Rana at July 13, 2005 11:18 PM
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I always go with the underdog, so Cody's got my vote.

I tried to donate online, btw, but they didn't like my furrin' address. I'll mail it in.

Posted by: KathyF at July 14, 2005 02:27 AM
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By the way, Tost, my golden wants to meet yours, she says. But warn him, she's a real killer.

Posted by: KathyF at July 14, 2005 05:00 AM
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She's beautiful, Kathy, but I've taught Cody to stay away from dangerous women.

By the way, our first ever golden, Judy, used to get mad at my father if he didn't take her out hunting, so she'd go out in the swamp behind our place in NY and catch pheasants, which she'd bring back dead, and muskrats, which she'd grab by the scruff of their neck and bring home alive.

But she wouldn't let them go until she'd showed them to a human - she wanted to be recognized for her skills at catch and release.

By the way, keep in mind that your pretty girl was doing exactly - exactly - what every golden in existence was bred to do. Heck, you might want to take up bird hunting. Pheasant and grouse are awfully tasty, and it's always better to eat wild than support some chicken farm where they burn off all the beaks and force the birds to live in their own crap.

Posted by: tost at July 14, 2005 08:07 AM
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Someone obviously told Cody his right side is his best. I'm wondering if he isn't really just an innocent puppy, tarted up by a "stage dad" to look like this magnificent slut.

Still, I judge people by their insides rather than their outsides, and I can't help but think that inside Cody is a happy airhead:

"yeahyeahyeah, where'sthestick? where'sthestick? let'sgolet'sgolet'sgo, happy! happy! ooh! waterwaterwater, lookatme! wetdogwetdoghehheh yeahyeahyeah! happy! happy! ooh! gooddeadthing! gottarollgottaroll hehheh ah! smellsogood gottagottashowdad hehheh happy! happy!"

Zeke looks more like ... a woodsy philosopher. Somebody magnificent inside, but born into bad circumstances and almost destroyed by it, then rescued and elevated to this infinitely better life on the edge of the wilds.

Actually, I'm with ogeorge on this one. Tito the Mighty Hunter has been described more than once as "the best dog I ever even MET."

Tito has run with the deer, gone toe-to-toe with the coyotes (although it was more like fang-to-butt – their fangs, his butt), danced with a mother elk (it was a short performance, as he was last seen fleeing the dance with his cummerbund in disarray and his tail tucked), performed intimate and surprising interviews with both skunks and porcupines, chased the wily “boogers” (crabs) on the beach in Maine, braved the mountainous wilds of Flagstaff, Arizona, with Yukon the Rocket Pup, and cooled off in snow-fed mountain streams after ecstatic adventures in California’s High Sierra.

He has also been mortally wounded twice (once to the tune of 200+ stitches), and survived each time to add further joy to the world by continuing to be his wonderful adventurous self.

You can see a picture of him, and Ranger the Valiant Warrior, at www.hankfox.com .

That being said, I’ll go for $5 on Zeke. In a better world, he would obviously have been White Fang ... or at least Balto.


Posted by: Hank Fox at July 14, 2005 09:13 AM
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"yeahyeahyeah, where'sthestick? where'sthestick? let'sgolet'sgolet'sgo, happy! happy! ooh! waterwaterwater, lookatme! wetdogwetdoghehheh yeahyeahyeah! happy! happy! ooh! gooddeadthing! gottarollgottaroll hehheh ah! smellsogood gottagottashowdad hehheh happy! happy!"

Many's the time I've wished Zeke were a bit more like that. When he was young, we'd throw sticks, he'd chase them and then lie down and chew them where they had fallen. When we'd try to teach him to fetch he'd look at us as if we were incredibly stupid. "Look, Chris. I know you're just going to throw it again. I've got it now, why should I have to chase it again?"

He'd also run after a tennis ball, find it, sniff it for a minute and then wander off.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 14, 2005 09:32 AM
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You're lucky I let family vote at all, Allie.

We don't despise each other, so we're hardly family in the Clarkeian sense.

Posted by: Allison at July 14, 2005 10:06 AM
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We don't despise each other,

That you know of.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 14, 2005 01:27 PM
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That you know of.

You know, you're right - I haven't found time to mine my deepest Freudian impulses lately, so I could despise you and not know it. How about I do that now and let you know what I figure out tomorrow.

Posted by: Allison at July 14, 2005 03:51 PM
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Stop it, you two. Chris, the kitten photo was definitely not playing fair, but I have to vote for Zeke anyway - he is just too regal and smart-looking, and besides I know you'd never forgive me for voting for Cody.

Posted by: beth at July 14, 2005 04:36 PM
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Don't worry, Beth. Allie knows she's my favorite niece over the age of 19.

And Cody is sending in new campaign materials, so Zeke may well have to contend with something like a photo of Cody nuzzling newborn pandas.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 14, 2005 05:09 PM
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We here in Wisconsin, who've actually been known to hunt with golden retrievers, call the ones with upright ears "swamp collies." (Or, on occasion, "dwarf Chessies.") I cast my vote for Cody--and pledge $10.

Now, as to the question of how a noble, courageous, intelligent, fine-looking animal like Cody wound up in the hands of such a feckless and dissolute reprobate, well, sometimes bad things happen to good dogs, dammit.

Posted by: Tom Davis at July 14, 2005 06:20 PM
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"Still, I judge people by their insides rather than their outsides, and I can't help but think that inside Cody is a happy airhead:"

Hank, you couldn't be more wrong. Cody is incredibly bright and loving, not to mention a fine hunter and retriever. Most of all, though, he's got tremendous heart. I'm incredibly blessed that he's a part of my life.

But as much as it pains me to say this, I've got to agree with the gentleman from Wisconsin, who knows a thing or ten about dogs and even more about writing. If the world were fair and dogs ended up matched with people who truly deserved them, Cody would have a far better master than I.

Posted by: tost at July 14, 2005 09:14 PM
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Oh my god, those baby pandas - they look like (Larry Niven's) bandersnatches with legs!

I vote for Cody again, because the vote is too lopsided. I can't bear the thought of his wounded feelings at such heartless, heartless rejection :)

Posted by: CaseyL at July 14, 2005 10:12 PM
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I can't tell whether my reaction to the baby pandas should be "Awwwww" or "!"

Those pink, gaping mouths... they remind me, I think, of baby birds, to which I have similar reactions.

Posted by: Rana at July 14, 2005 11:47 PM
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Jessica and I each vote for Cody because he is the most perfect golden retreiver we have ever met.

His temperment and personality are truly heart warming. He was definitely one of the highlights of our time in Montana visiting Todd.

And knowing both Todd and Cody, I have to agree with Todd - Cody deserves a better master - hehe, luckily Molly is aroound :-)

We are happy to pledge $20 for our votes - does that give cody 4 votes?-)

Go Cody!


Chris and Jess

Posted by: CCT at July 15, 2005 12:11 AM
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It's hard to imagine a more majestic looking creature than Cody, so we have to vote for him (twice). Having a new (human) sibling is tough enough, but were he to be defeated in a dog vs. dog competition on top of that, he might never be able to hold his head up this high again. How could anyone say no to such spirit? Both thumbs up to Cody!

Posted by: Laura and James at July 15, 2005 05:08 AM
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I vote for Fraiser, my beautiful and talented AKC-registered standard Schnauzer nephew (owned by my sister). He coulda been a contenda, but when he started marking in the house, my sister had him fixed.

But, alas, as he is not in the running, then $5 to Cody and $5 to Zeke as I cannot possibly choose between these 2 fine examples of canine majesty.

(There. Does that make Chris and tost feel better?)

Posted by: Nikki (aka Fox's Vixen) at July 15, 2005 06:54 AM
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I vote for Fraiser, my beautiful and talented AKC-registered standard Schnauzer nephew (owned by my sister). He coulda been a contenda, but when he started marking in the house, my sister had him fixed.

But, alas, as he is not in the running, then $5 to Cody and $5 to Zeke as I cannot possibly choose between these 2 fine examples of canine majesty.

(There. Does that make Chris and tost feel better?)

Posted by: Nikki (aka Fox's Vixen) at July 15, 2005 06:55 AM
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Sorry about the double post!

Posted by: Nikki (aka Fox's Vixen) at July 15, 2005 06:56 AM
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I can't tell whether my reaction to the baby pandas should be "Awwwww" or "!"

I vote for "!".

Posted by: Allison at July 15, 2005 10:40 AM
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Chris, I've sent off five American dollars to the "Zeke vs. Cody Commendable Canine Studpuppy Beauty Contest," c/o Earth Island. :D

Posted by: Hank Fox at July 17, 2005 01:55 AM
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$5.00 for Cody. I will send to the shelter. Thanks for the fun!!

Posted by: Eileen CArney at July 18, 2005 09:51 AM
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Just a note to say that Cody's human femal companion, Molly, intends to cast a vote for her dog, but has been having some sort of technical trouble.

And with that vote, and having allowed multiple votes only when they split the difference between the two candidates, and disallowed a vote each rom KathyF and CaseyL because they'd already voted, the total stands at Zeke 14, Cody 12. And as I'm honor bound to add a vote for Cody, seeing as tost voted for Zeke, that makes it Zeke 14, Cody 13.

This is getting exciting, folks.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 18, 2005 04:43 PM
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I vote for Cody. He is definitely the most handsome. And he has the enviable task of guarding my youngest grandson, Kian.

Posted by: JoAnn McCabe at July 20, 2005 03:01 PM
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I have to vote with the family! Besides Cody is aa truly magnificent dog!!! We've known him since he was a wee one.

Posted by: Mike McCabe at July 20, 2005 03:04 PM
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Since cody has licked me in the face a few times over the years my vote and my wife Tracy's vote will be with Cody.

Posted by: Jay Reynolds at July 22, 2005 08:08 AM
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Casting my $5.00 vote for the absolute best looking dog =====>Cody

Posted by: Taren Tanner at July 26, 2005 01:26 PM
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Cody gets my vote!

Posted by: Joanne at July 26, 2005 05:58 PM
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$5.00 for Cody!!

Posted by: Mikey O'Rourke at July 26, 2005 06:34 PM
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For the best looking dog.... Cody!! $20.00 worth! Best of luck Cody!

Posted by: Sean at July 26, 2005 06:36 PM
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I've watched this puerile dialogue long enough. How can one possibly compare a mutt with majesty? Cody has no peer and I pledge $20, provided that each dollar counts as a separate vote for Cody.

Posted by: Hugh Clark at July 27, 2005 07:36 PM
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Well after I was inundated by the the VFC campaign I was forced to take a closer look at the other cantidate. While I give points for the hat I must vote my consience and send $1 for Cody. Let there be no activist judges!

Posted by: Tim McCabe at July 28, 2005 01:51 PM
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Polls are closed!

Posted by: Chris Clarke at July 29, 2005 06:57 AM
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