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Creek Running North

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September 09, 2005

God, if he exists, is a fucking prick

Big-ass storm? Check.
Cronyistic local government? Check.
Corrupt, incompetent cops? Check.
Twenty feet of toxic water throughout the city? Check.
FEMA lets people die while extracting thumb from ass? Check.
Racist thug suburban cops stationed on the only bridge out of town, keeping people in the hellhole? Check.
People standing on tiptoe in their attics for four days, then drowning in sewage? Check.
Everything seems in order.
But still, I dunno. This whole thing lacks a certain frisson.

Oh, I know. How about tossing in 5,000 escaped germ warfare monkeys?

Posted by Chris Clarke at September 9, 2005 04:33 PM TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.faultline.org/cgi-bin/mt-tb.cgi/1322

1 blog(s) linking to this post:

Infectious Disease Research in and Around New Orleans
Excerpt: MemoryBlog: Infectious Disease Research in and Around New Orleans Summary: At the very least, there are two Level-3 biolabs in New Orleans and a cluster of three in nearby Covington. They have been working with anthrax, mousepox, HIV, plague, etc. There a
Weblog: inf@ectio.us
Tracked: September 12, 2005 03:01 AM
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Comments

here is a grim front-line account, from a doctor at the NO airport:

http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/archives2/010986.html#more

Posted by: Kathy A at September 9, 2005 05:46 PM
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Being Canadian I usually feel detached from the dramatics of what is going on in the states... but this one has gripped me so completely. Interestingly enough, it's the one post on my blog that has had the most response........

We are all captivated. I think we all have bled a little for the south.

Amen. God is a prick.

G.

Posted by: Blue at September 9, 2005 07:12 PM
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I read the referenced article, and all I see is a bunch of speculation and very few hard facts. There was an installation that may or may not have been doing research on biowar pathogens, and there were monkeys that were caged outside that may or may not have escaped. But do you really think animals infected with biowar pathogens would be caged outside? More likely that the ones caged outside were not being used to study diseases at all. How would you control against the effects of what you're studying versus some random virus or bacteria they picked up out of the air?

Posted by: Paul Tomblin at September 9, 2005 07:43 PM
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i cracked up just reading your title. best lede today. thanks for a good laugh. it all adds up to badness even without the monkeys. you could add:
rightous faux christians gloating over death. check.
islamofascists gloating over death. check
geraldo rivera involved. check.

amen

Posted by: dread pirate roberts at September 9, 2005 08:36 PM
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Diseased monkeys are the perfect symbol for this administration, isn't it?

Posted by: PZ Myers at September 9, 2005 08:39 PM
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I don't know about you, but I think escaped germ warfare monkeys just make an apocalypse. Why, I wouldn't throw one without them!


God, if he exists, is a fucking prick

That was actually the refrain at the dinner table tonight with my family, coming from the believers (my mother) and the nonbelievers (me, my husband, my brother, my brother's wife, and probably my father) alike. We were well into the "pick two, only two: omniscient, omnibenevolent, or omnipotent" argument when we mutually agreed to cut each other off the margaritas and spare the rest of the restaurant.

Posted by: Stephanie at September 9, 2005 08:46 PM
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well, holy cow. take a look at this -- hemingway, writing in 1935 about a hurricane, asking who in washington murdered the vets who were left without protection in the florida keys?

http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/ErnestHemingwayWhoMurderedtheVets.pdf

he was a much better journalist than novelist....

back to your topic -- what the hell, who needs the monkeys? apparently, they already have jobs in this administration.

Posted by: Kathy A at September 9, 2005 09:08 PM
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I read the referenced article, and all I see is a bunch of speculation and very few hard facts.

Way to cramp my rant, Captain Sensible.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at September 9, 2005 09:23 PM
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As far as the title - free choice, Chris, free choice. You'd rather that we were all stripped of our ability to make decisions and pre-programmed to react in a particular way to a particular stimulation? Where's the fun in that? And let's keep in mind that God didn't make this mess. We did. If we hadn't been stupid enough to design the most senseless, toxic, ass-backwards civilization ever to grace this continent - Damn right, boys, let's have the Army Corp of Engineers turn a perfectly functional aquatic ecosystem into a death-trap, and then build a city there - things might be a little more cheery on the southern front right now.

As far as the monkeys - and I say this as someone who's completely disgusted with the way we live and the way we treat our planet - I'm afraid I'm with Captain Sensible.

By the way, thanks for the kind words earlier. If it makes you feel any better, I'm happy to state for the record that Molly's appendix, if it still exists, is a fucking prick.

Posted by: tost at September 9, 2005 09:55 PM
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As far as the title - free choice, Chris, free choice. You'd rather that we were all stripped of our ability to make decisions and pre-programmed to react in a particular way to a particular stimulation?

tost, let me introduce you to a little-understood concept known as "the joke."

Remember, I don't believe in God. Ergo, I am ipso facto not blaming God, as ex nihilo nihil fit. Further, I enjoy blaming people ad libitum, so res ipsa loquitur and cave canem. Noli me tangere.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at September 9, 2005 10:11 PM
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Oh, fuckity-fucksticks. I'm going into hibernation until the apocolypse is over. Call me when my VIP room in hell is prepared? I trust all my friends will be there...

Posted by: Space Kitty at September 9, 2005 10:44 PM
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Goody, more news angles. I am absolutely going to stop reading blogs and go shopping today. If the Apocalypse is coming I can at least be well-dressed.

Posted by: Tabor at September 10, 2005 02:18 AM
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"5000 germ warfare monkeys": Wow. For a minute there I thought George Bush had cloned himself, sort of like those 5000 loaves and fishes in the bible.

Posted by: KathyF at September 10, 2005 03:04 AM
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Chris whats up with the latin? It seems as if you have just taken a law and ethics class and you are attempting to impress us with your latin or maybe you want to try to use the terminology in a sentence; how cute. When New Orleans was founded in the early part of the 1700s, we didnt have such a problem because the wetlands were not in dire straits as they are in now. Obviously, you have no knowledge of New Orleanian culture for if you did you would know that we are responsible primarly for giving this shit hole of a country true culture. We speak a different language, we(blacks and respectfully some whites) do not romanticize money as many of you other americans do. We love to take baths and there are houses who refuse to use microwave ovens. We are traditionalists in every sense of the word. So do a little research before offering offensive remarks about my beloved city.

Posted by: Randolph Evans at September 10, 2005 06:57 AM
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Randolph, simmer down. You and I are in agreement.

If playful and deliberately inappropriate use of latin clichés bothers you that much, you probably won't enjoy much of the rest of what I write. And if you can in any way read contempt for New Orleans - a city I love - into what I write here, I suggest you read more carefully.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at September 10, 2005 07:42 AM
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A fellow moved up from the Bay Area to Montana to get away from it all - the crime, the sprawl, the crowds, the pollution. He bought a little place out in the middle of nowhere, kicked back, and started to decompress. One day he was sitting on his porch when, way off in the distance, he saw a cloud of dust. It moved closer and closer, until finally he was able to discern a pickup truck on the dirt road out in front of his property.

A minute or two later, the truck actually pulled into his driveway and drove right up to his house. And out got a cowboy. He looked the part, too. Big hat, big belt buckle, cowboy boots - the whole nine yards.

"Howdy, neighbor!" he said to the fellow from California. "I've been meaning to stop over here for a couple months now, but with the cows and the calves and such, I've just been too damn busy. Anyway, I finally had a free second, so here I am!"

The Californian invited the cowboy up on the porch, got him a beer, and they both sat down and visited for a spell. And amazingly, it turned out that they enjoyed each other's company.

After an hour or so of getting to know each other, the cowboy told his new friend that he had to be going, but that he was throwing a party on Saturday night, and that he should consider himself the guest of honor.

The fellow from the Bay Area thought it over for a minute and said, "Well, you know, buddy, I sort of came up here to get away from that sort of thing. But on the other hand, I've been sitting around here for a couple months now and I haven't met a single soul until today. I'll tell you what. You tell me a little about your party, and then I'll tell you whether or not I'll come over and hang out."

"Well, pardner," said the cowboy, "here's the God's-honest truth. It's going to be a good old-fashioned Montana party. There's going to be eating and drinking, singing and dancing, fighting and fucking ...... Hell, it's going to be a wild time."

Now the Californian thought it over for a minute or two and then said, "Damn, I guess a man's got to let his hair down every once in a while. I'll tell you what. I'll come to your party. But help me out a little here - I've never been to a real Montana gala before. What should I wear?"

The cowboy squinted at him for a bit, looking him up and down, and then said, "Aw, shucks, it probably doesn't matter much."

"It's just going to be you and me."


Now Chris, even though I took a couple years of Latin, I don't remember much of it - the damn priest always mumbled when he was pulling my pants down. So while you've got me at a disadvantage with the dead language thing, I still think your jokes need work.

Posted by: tost at September 10, 2005 08:47 AM
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Yeah, well, if they spur certain people to reflexively lecture me about metaphysics once again then it's all good.

Posted by: Chris Clarke at September 10, 2005 08:59 AM
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Oh no, you miss the true message of Katrina, God's (if He exists) avenging Angel, who came to rid the world of a den of inquity. Next stop, Las Vegas.

This is Sodom and Gomorrah writ large for an evangelical type, and I'm sure that right after Pat Robertson is finished with assassinating foreign heads of state he will turn his attention to God's willful intervention in America's sin cities.

Posted by: Miguel Alondra at September 10, 2005 11:29 AM
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So long, Omaha!

Posted by: Chris Clarke at September 10, 2005 11:39 AM
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Rodriguez and Miller are probably working on a sequel as we write...

Posted by: Miguel Alondra at September 10, 2005 01:01 PM
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illegitimi non carborundum chris.

Posted by: dread pirate roberts at September 10, 2005 01:29 PM
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One the one hand, if this is true its very bad. On the other hand, now I have a name for my band!


(5,000... etc.)

Posted by: craig at September 10, 2005 07:30 PM
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I remember something Mark Twain said once about god

god is a Malign Thug.

Posted by: Kevin at September 10, 2005 10:07 PM
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Miguel, either God or Pat Robertson has really lousy aim, since the most sinful part of New Orleans, the French Quarter, didn't get flooded for the most part. That part will probably be up and running and flashing its tits by next Mardi Gras.

I also suspect that when Robertson called on God to kill a Supreme Court Justice, he didn't mean Reinquest.

Posted by: Paul Tomblin at September 11, 2005 04:47 AM
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I save all my "divine" comments, of course, and my hope is that in a year or two I'll have enough variety so that I can simply cut and paste in response to anything our fearless leader might choose to write. Think of the time it will save.

Posted by: tost at September 11, 2005 01:55 PM
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Latin to live by:

Semper ubi sub ubi.

And make sure they're clean in case you are in an accident.

Posted by: Andrew Warinner at September 12, 2005 12:45 AM
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