Toad in the Hole

November 05, 2005

Slapthology Alert

I've been meaning to write a Hallowe'en story about my mother, but I'm clearly spending too much time reading the news. Especially the stuff about the HPV vaccine and the fundies' reaction to it. Between little bouts of physical nausea, I'm coping with a constant background urge to slap somebody across the face. Really, a physical urge -- I have to put my hands in my pockets sometimes because I can feel my right arm trying to lift itself up, semipronate, and whip hard horizontally. It's giving me cramps in the biceps, where the lift starts.

I'm probably too old and feeble to slap the way I want to just now, a slap that would result in jaw dislocation at least, and ideally with traumatic skin ablation. Including the lips. Especially the lips. I have quite a vivid picture of it in my mind.

However, I'm not sure of the origin of a dream last night, a first-time-ever occurrence in whch I was tasting a very interesting canape' involving avocado and something else. I woke up to discover I was trying to eat the topsheet.

I'm trying to remember the rest of the recipe; honest, in the dream it tasted considerably better than a purple cotton jersey-knit sheet.

Posted at November 5, 2005 05:12 PM