Toad in the Hole

December 23, 2005

Whine, Woman, and, Well...

...I'm not coughing up blood, no. I don't even have the flu. By way of lagniappe with the braces, tho', I went and had a little lump sliced off my nose today. Technically it's a biopsy but the lump hasn't changed in at least a decade (since it appeared) I'm not worried.

The nose is evidently hard to anaesthetize. Plus you don't use Xyloxcaine with epinephrine, you use straight Xylocaine, this being an extremity whose circulation you don't want to chance compromising. The function of epi with Xylocaine is to diminish bleeding -- it constricts blood vessels. Without it, you bleed all over the place. Or I do, at least.

And take note, practitioners (and patients too): The body processes yer average medical procedure as an assault. All those glands and reflexes don't know beans about modern medicine, so someone poking needles and blades about one's body -- about one's face -- register as a sort of mugging, with the consequent after-effects. Shakiness, loose jointedness, weak in the kneesedness, all that, sure, and a certain narrowness of one's sensory processing capacity. But also serious defensiveness -- one (OK, I) might bite the head off one's nearest and dearest or any innocent bystander, because one is working like hell not to punch at random. I suspect that recovery room nurses know this already. I think maybe I used to know it myself.

I really wanted to bite someone but I couldn't risk getting shreds of raw flesh in the damned braces.

But the worst thing is that even now, nine hours and some Christmas shopping while wearing that ridiculous gauze dressing across my nose later, I still can't shake off the smell of my own burnt flesh, from the electrocautery. I mean, it's my nose. I never did like that smell -- imagine singeing your hair and throwing a little blood on to douse it, something between burnt hair and burnt cheese, ugh. No it's not much like burning a porkchop, unless the porkchop is stil alive; somehow that makes a difference. It's nauseating.

Reading Robert Sapolsky and H.P. Lovecraft in close apposition to this experience makes it even more interesting, just by the way.

Posted at December 23, 2005 07:04 AM


Definitely an assault. Poor poor Ron! Try and do good things for yourself that don't involve any more assaults like long baths, long walks in the hills, avoiding these crazy people shopping... and don't go see Syriana till you feel up to it.

Posted by: Pica at December 23, 2005 03:21 PM

/laugh/ Thanks! Hope you've got a towel on your shoulder.

We had to choose between Syriana and Narnia a couple weekends ago, and I said Narnia because by contrast it's fluff. lately I find I'm right off serious drama. Well, except Good Night, and Good Luck, but I knew how that turned out.

Posted by: Ron at December 23, 2005 06:31 PM