Toad in the Hole

December 31, 2005

Scientific Secrets

I could have lived all my life quite content not to have learned this one: When an ant walks onto your eyeball, it hurts like merry hell. When you put your finger onto the painful mote in your eye, it breaks the ant somewhere and hurts like merry hell squared -- burning and stabbing most alarmingly and just generally making it urgent to yell at your best beloved to get out of the bathroom so you can get to the eyedrops. However, there is some process going on in some part of your brain that, though it has been reviewing all sorts of possibilities like stroke, sudden-onset glaucoma, and wierd unanticipated effects of hypertension, assorted drugs, and/or their combination with the last of that lovely mead you just polished off, is actually unsurprised enough to let you say aloud, "Aha. Yes, that of course," when the pitiful crumpled drowned corpse washes out and fetches up on your lower lashes.

Oh yes -- and something about the whole experience will give you nightmares all night.

Posted at December 31, 2005 05:05 PM