Toad in the Hole

September 08, 2006

Two Jokes

Two jokes that my sister Ellen sent, here constituting some reflections (not blanket recommendations) about feminism and tactics, though not necessarily strategy.

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. 

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."


Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.

Posted at September 8, 2006 04:04 PM


I've heard the second before, and of course still think it's hilarious.

I don't think the first would work any better than a more direct approach because men forget stuff when you distract them with sex. Or so I've observed.

That bathroom's never getting tended.

Posted by: Sara at September 8, 2006 05:51 PM

Maybe not, but if the bartender's sufficiently absorbent it won't matter much.

Posted by: Ron at September 9, 2006 05:01 AM

Glad you found my blog. Your comments, regarding the lab issue, were good ones. Now, a joke for you:

Guy wakes up one morning, and a voice in his head tells him, "sell you house, your business, take your money, and go to Las Vegas." He ignores it. Next morning, same thing. It gets more and more frequent until he's hearing the voice every hour; finally he decides he has to obey. He sells his house, his business, takes the money, and goes to Las Vegas. On arrival at the airport, the voice says "Go to Ceasar's Palace." He goes, and when he arrives, the voice says, "Go to the roulette table." He does. "Put everything on red 36," the voice tells him. He does. The wheel spins, and comes up on black 17. The voice says, "S##t."

Posted by: Sid Schwab at September 9, 2006 03:37 PM

Thank you, Sid, for the joke (which my sister will appreciate too) and the comment kudo. Chronic understaffing and crap wages in medical facilities of all sorts, and the effects on patient care as well as on practitioners (which compound the ill effects on patients, which cycle goes 'round and 'round forever) compose a hobbyhorse of mine, I guess. I'm a used nurse myself.

The whole mess multiplies the chance of inevitable human error's happening and its not getting corrected or cushioned, and wastes the work and skill of practitioners and of course the health and the very bodies of patients. And we're all patients eventually.

Posted by: Ron at September 9, 2006 04:15 PM